You’re Going to be Replaced – by Max Headroom

By , January 28, 2010 10:33 am


Those who remember that ancient robotic face from MTV

Your Replacement?


know it was just for fun. But apparently the clowns at the Korea Times believe that’s the kind of technology they need to replace all of us foul native English Speaker Teachers.

The difference between reporting on a technology release and making a technology release is that one of the parties knows they’re lying. Kim Tae-Gyu, reporter for the Korea Times has swallowed whole the garbage that Kim Shin-Hwan, an economist at Hyundai Research had put into his marketing drivel. The ecnonomist-turned-marketer went on to say that by 2018 robots will be able to fully control a classroom on its own.

The notion that 30,000 native English speaking teachers will “lose their jobs in the not-so-distant future” is simply preposterous.  That a computer might one day be able to understand poor pronunciation, tone, context and grammar is indeed possible, but so far into the future that none of us should worry about losing a single job.  But seriously -  being able to control a classroom full of rambunctious children? I simply do not beleive that technology is anywhere near possible (remember, I was once a rocket scientist and designed high tech missile software, so I have a little knowledge about technology.)  That might be wishful thinking on the part of a not-so-small number of Koreans who wish they didn’t have to hire us in the first place.

Although there are already two robots now employed at a school in Masan, I have no doubt that these machines are nothing more than dictionaries on wheels with the ability to speak phrases and wave its arms like the robot from Lost in Space, below.

Further throwing fuel on the fire of idiocy, Kim added that other robots have been developed to help children learn to walk. What more ridiculousness would one need to simply, at this point in the conference, walk out? In the millions of years since humans have evolved and began walking, when did anyone, ever, need a robot to teach a child to walk?

All I can say is that it must have been a slow news day at the Korea Times AND the technical editor must have been still coming off his soju hangover when he approved this worthless piece.

Just for fun, here’s a marketing video of the guided missile I worked on. I also got to dress up like a G.I. and be in the video. See if you can spot me.

6 Responses to “You’re Going to be Replaced – by Max Headroom”

  1. admin says:

    I love the idea.
    English teaching robots getting blamed for all the drug problems, stealing women, abusing children.
    It’d be nice to be able to walk down the street and see people staring at the robots and yelling “Lobotuh, go home”.
    Anybody named Robert is in trouble.

  2. Reynolds says:

    This won’t work at all! Robots have no feeling when it comes to smashing sticks over their students backs. I think broken ribs will be a big problem

  3. Why stop at English teachers? The robot could teach math, history, and science also. While they are at it why not make robot reporters for the Korean Times?

  4. admin says:

    Andrew. That’s just dumb. How could you program reporters to do such little research, and write so poorly?
    foolish. I say.
    Let’s try and keep the comments realistic.

  5. [...] December 29, 2010 10:08 am We’ve reported on the use of robots to teach English frequently here (and here and here) at UlsanOnline.  And with each article, the invective gets worse and worse. [...]

  6. [...] past, we’ve written about Korea’s efforts to introduce robots into the classroom. (See here, here and here). In the two years since those articles came out, robots haven’t made much [...]

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